Unconditional Positive Regard and the Pygmalion Effect in Coaching

This reflection is inspired by the articles 'Unconditional Positive Regard for Coaches, Practitioners, and Leaders' by Mary Britton and 'The Pygmalion Effect' by Sherman Morrison, as well as the Wikipedia page on the same topic.

In the field of coaching, the concepts of 'Unconditional Positive Regard' and 'The Pygmalion Effect' have emerged as essential components. These principles, rooted in psychological theory, offer profound insights into coaching practice, providing a framework that encourages growth, learning, and development. They also help minimize the risk of entering into counter-productive relational dynamics, such as those illustrated by the drama triangle.

Unleashing Potential through Unconditional Positive Regard

At the heart of coaching lies the principle of 'Unconditional Positive Regard', a term coined by the humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers. This concept speaks of the need to accept and respect others as they are, without making judgements or assessments about who they are as a person. In the context of coaching, this manifests as a fundamental attitude whereby coaches approach their clients with genuine support, warmth, and acceptance, regardless of the actions, challenges, or perspectives that they encounter..

This non-judgmental stance is not just about creating a comfortable coaching environment; it seeks to empower clients to explore their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors openly and without fear of judgment. This openness paves the way for the introspection necessary for personal and/or professional growth. When clients feel deeply accepted, they are more likely to engage in the deep, often challenging work of change, allowing them to overcome obstacles and reach their full potential.

The Pygmalion Effect: Expectations as a Driving Force

Closely related to the nurturing atmosphere created by 'Unconditional Positive Regard' is the 'Pygmalion Effect', a psychological phenomenon where high expectations lead to improved performance.

Originating from a study in the field of education, the 'Pygmalion Effect' illustrates how belief and expectation can significantly influence outcomes. In coaching, this effect highlights the power of a coach's belief in their client's potential to catalyze extraordinary achievements.

Coaches who embody the 'Pygmalion Effect' communicate, both consciously and unconsciously, the high expectations they have of their clients. These expectations can significantly enhance their clients' belief in their own abilities, as well as their motivation to make efforts to progress toward the goals they set for themselves.

The key lies in the coach's ability to convey these expectations in a way that is both inspiring and challenging, enabling their clients to surpass their perceived limitations and achieve what they might have thought impossible in a positive way, thereby limiting anxiety-inducing pressure.

The anti-Pygmalion Effect: The Drama Triangle

The 'Drama Triangle,' also known as Karpman's Triangle, is a model of interpersonal relationships that illustrates three dysfunctional roles: the Rescuer, the Victim, and the Persecutor.

When one of the parties in a two-person coaching relationship engages in the drama triangle, a counterproductive dynamic is often established. This interactional model, composed of the roles of Rescuer, Victim, and Persecutor, triggers behaviors that can significantly alter the coaching dynamic.

• The Victim position is often characterized by a feeling of powerlessness and a tendency to blame external circumstances or other people for the difficulties encountered. The client in this role may appear passive, seeking protection and solutions from the coach, rather than taking responsibility for their actions and personal development.
  
  
• The Rescuer position is characterized by a tendency to take on the client's problems. It is often motivated by a desire to be needed or appreciated. By adopting this role, the coach risks depriving the client of the opportunity to learn from their experiences and find their own solutions, thereby creating an unhealthy dependency that can hinder the coaching process. The coach is even more likely to adopt this posture if the client positions themselves as a victim. This role is not at all compatible with having 'unconditional positive regard' or the 'Pygmalion Effect', since it fundamentally implies that one does not believe the client is capable of achieving their goals on their own.
   
• The Persecutor position manifests itself in critical or authoritarian behavior, where one of the characters seeks to dominate or control the other. In the context of coaching, this can translate to a coach adopting an overly directive attitude; by doing so, they may encourage their client to position themselves as a victim (“I tried what you suggested, but it doesn’t work”) or as a rescuer (by for example, telling you that they did everything as you suggested, even if that’s not true…)

When these different positions from the 'Drama Triangle' are activated, the coaching relationship moves away from its primary objective, which is to establish a collaborative partnership focused on the development and empowerment of the client.

Recognizing these dynamics is crucial for coaches, who must work on maintaining a position centered on unconditional support, while avoiding stepping into the 'drama triangle.' 

Staying grounded with an 'Unconditional Positive Regard' and seeking to activate the 'Pygmalion Effect' is an effective strategy to avoid this problematic dynamic. By adopting a stance where the coach firmly believes in the client's potential without trying to 'save' them, the coach fosters a relationship of equals, thereby encouraging the client to take charge of their own development. This approach strengthens the client's autonomy and avoids dependence on the coach, enabling a genuine personal transformation based on confidence in the client's own inner resources and abilities.

Integration of Principles into Practice

Although these concepts are fundamental, integrating them into coaching practice requires skill and sensitivity based on an understanding of these theories. Coaches need to balance their unconditional support with the strategic application of high, positively communicated expectations, adapting their approach to the unique needs and circumstances of each client while avoiding positioning themselves as a rescuer. 

The European Mentoring and Coaching Council competencies, particularly those related to building effective relationships and promoting awareness and learning, align closely with the principles of the 'Unconditional Positive Regard' and the 'Pygmalion Effect'. By adhering to these competencies, coaches can ensure that their practice is not only grounded in psychological theory, but also aligned with the highest standards of professional coaching.

Guillaume Sennequier
Managing Partner, Beautiful Soul